Dry eyed and paranoid

I sure felt like screaming in that stall today. I know what they think of me, I hear what they say- I know I act strange. I envy the dead and those who have someone to call their friends. I have pushed everyone away. I do not know what to do, I don't understand these thoughts and emotions. I wish I knew what happened to me in middle school. Curse genetics and my parents who gave me life. I shouldn't be like this... I could have been popular! I could have had it all-- if it were not for those damn genes. I want to be normal.