Unearthed Scars

I found my purple pen! :D Again anyways...

I fucking HATE A****, that bastard. He treats me like I'm not even there! I need to move my damn desk. At least Ke***** talked to me. :) Given she asked for a ruler, but she could have asked anyone. :3

I am positive that it's not healthy for an individual with Social Anxiety Disorder to attend school every day. No one takes me seriously about that, but I am sure school will cause a few health problems for me in the future along with costing me a few years. >.<' I'm already growing depressed. I don't know what to do.

Bruised, but not too broken

I keep loosing my pen. :'( Anyways, I don't really want to share what happened today, but I will say this: Page, go stab yourself with a 7mm ball point pen. Grudging? Yes, now piss off (pardon my French). I am very irked (stupid bitches...), and that self-centered, inconsiderate bastard (who I like to call Gonads) just adds to it all. I have feelings too you fucktard (I swear a lot when I'm mad). On a partially lighter note, Rebbecka came over for supper, and I got to tell her about Invisible Children. I swear I will at least three kids from Uganda and Rwanda. I can make a difference.

Digital Fire

     I remembered to indent! Anyways... my relationship between my father and I (that's proper English for ya) has improved significantly, though the electronic idol is relentless. IT WILL NOT BEAT ME I SEAR TO YOU. Mkay? :3 lol. Wow I just wrote 'lol'. I need to get offline more. :S

...Also, I was wrong about today changing... tomorrow for sure. I... have a plan. Oh yes I do. >:}

Newer Green Eyes

I felt really happy today. I saw the Grinch (with Jim Carry), funny stuff. The electronic idol is grabbing on to old purchases, but I will never give up control- I will not put Him second. Things will change tomorrow. How? No clue.

Scientific Happiness

I loved how D**** looked at me when I was speaking to the teacher, welcome to the "I didn't know she talked!" club! Anyways, today was a good one. Uneventful... but good nonetheless.

PS- first snow!

Computer Generated Popularity

I have two online gfs and one online bf. Talk about a cyber slut! I am pretty popular online, whether I pose as a guy or a girl. I love being a guy the most, guys get along with everyone, and every girl I talk to falls for me. Before I lost my iPod, I talked with my primary gf all day. She found her perfect guy, and I get a gf! Everyone is happy. This 'spooky ghost boi's got skiiill.

No it dooon't mean a thing...

... if you dooon't got that swing. Doo-op doo-op... that song is stuck in my head- and I don't mind in the slightest. Swing kids made me cry more then Marley and me (the dog is put down at the end), and I'm more of an animal lover. I feel sad... but not the depressed soul eating sad, just... sad. I'm just going to assume you know what I mean. Watch the movie, and if you have a heart, you'll know what I mean. :)

Swingin'

I guess I really do like old music- specifically 1930's swing (maybe that is because I like history). Gets me snapping my fingers, makes me wanna dance (even though I cannot). How I wish I was born in the 30's, they had spirit. Everything was full of excitement (and war...), their own unique style. I will learn how to play the cords that one Swing Kid played in the movie (the main character is in the TV show, House), magic fingers. They where full of life, just like those dead people in The Corpse Bride (made by my favorite director, Tim Burton).

Malevolence...

My word of the day :P I would say that I am in a reletively good mood, less mood swings-- more ups and less downs. monday will probably change that, but I will try to stay strong(-ish).

...hm?

What is this?? Depression? iPod withdrawal (lost it again)? How ridiculous!! AUGH for chizz! Up down up down, must be the result of iPod withdrawal. I guess I will wait it out. Man this is infuriating. -.-,
Work was boring, today was boring, but I watched an episode of Invader Zim (you're a jerk. -Dib) ...yeah.

Positively Thoughtful

I felt somewhat better today. Kerina told me she liked my art! Youth, as always, lightened my mood... but not as high as usual. My sister can be sooo touchy sometimes, but whatever. Maybe I will feel better tomorrow.

I also hope I will remember to bring ten dollars for the Compassion DVDs. The one featuring the kid Sunday was pretty sad and moving. When I am older and successful, I will sponsor three kids from Uganda (And some child soldiers). Three less kids to be abducted and used (forced to kill others).

Euphoric High

No ambition and too much addiction. Not a very good mix. I'm only ever happy when I am hooked on something, usually. "Out with the old and in with the new" is how it goes. I was spending three to five hours on Facebook (games mostly) on any given day, but when MiniNation (and FFM) came around (more specifically-- the iPod Touch), I barely ever went on it. It's odd... I love socializing online, but not in person. It makes me so happy, I can be whoever I want to be, and portray a friendly, bubbly personality. I am popular on MN, and I was on pico too (FB).

I also tend to get addicted to tv shows (cartoon type usually). I feel euphoric and hyper whenever I find a new cartoon to watch. I go absolutely batcrap crazy whenever I watch Danny Phantom (or Invader Zim), I have a rather unhealthy obsession with him... I think I like it because it's a memory. Memories are the most important thing in the world to me, and I remember watching Danny Phantom when it was still on air when I was 12. I think I understand why pot-heads can't quit- why would you want to stop doing something that makes you so happy? Danny is the only thing that makes me feel good. Why would I stop? I even wasted the Internet time by watching so many episodes a day online. I guess I just need something to occupy my mind with everything else going wrong in my life, but all these things control me. I am growing a lot more distant with my dad (for some reason he just pisses me off...), and I blow off my mom... this needs to stop before it ruins my life even more.

Dry eyed and paranoid

I sure felt like screaming in that stall today. I know what they think of me, I hear what they say- I know I act strange. I envy the dead and those who have someone to call their friends. I have pushed everyone away. I do not know what to do, I don't understand these thoughts and emotions. I wish I knew what happened to me in middle school. Curse genetics and my parents who gave me life. I shouldn't be like this... I could have been popular! I could have had it all-- if it were not for those damn genes. I want to be normal.

Blue :(

I am not too sure of my answer anymore.

Do you think about killing yourself?
Occasionally...

Would you go a step farther and do it?
Maybe.

But I don't have the guts to,

Though I wish I could.

God says that no one is given more then they can handle,

So am I weak?

Maybe I can handle this...

Though I feel like I'm alone.

My youth pastor says we've all won the birth lottery,

Though my family is having some financial issues.

I am thankful for what I have...

But I cry for what I don't.

Sometime I wish I were a boy.

They are respected and treated so much better then girls,

After all, it wasn't Adam who took the first bite.

Why can't I be normal?

Timothy

For God did not give us

a heart of fear, but of  strength,

love and self-control.