Thursday, 30 April 2009
Puzzle,
I'm an emotional wreck.
I want to make this sound unique,
to feel unique,
but I cant find the words.
I can't separate my true feelings from fatigue,
and for the first time,
I have a headache.
Ahh...
I know deep in my heart,
that something isn't right,
but what can I do?
I've been crying countless times,
alone in the shadows of my room,
to think of the problems that no one can
solve.
I want to make this sound unique,
to feel unique,
but I cant find the words.
I can't separate my true feelings from fatigue,
and for the first time,
I have a headache.
Ahh...
I know deep in my heart,
that something isn't right,
but what can I do?
I've been crying countless times,
alone in the shadows of my room,
to think of the problems that no one can
solve.
Saturday, 18 April 2009
Rising in the fall
Today
Was my
Sisters bday
Party and I saw
Hanna Montana the
Movie with her annoying
Friends. Sophie didn't show,
So I was left with Jenna. Now I
Realize that things have been better with
Her since she came on my side about "The
Blond Devil". In social matters, I feel 65% normal.
The percentage is increasing more every day, and stays
Up so long as I stay reasonably positive, though I still have
Some fixing and re-wiring to do. One day though I know I will be
Averagely normal-- at least 85% normal... I hope it won't drop on me.
Was my
Sisters bday
Party and I saw
Hanna Montana the
Movie with her annoying
Friends. Sophie didn't show,
So I was left with Jenna. Now I
Realize that things have been better with
Her since she came on my side about "The
Blond Devil". In social matters, I feel 65% normal.
The percentage is increasing more every day, and stays
Up so long as I stay reasonably positive, though I still have
Some fixing and re-wiring to do. One day though I know I will be
Averagely normal-- at least 85% normal... I hope it won't drop on me.
Friday, 17 April 2009
Stripped away,
It's getting harder to write
The line between me and
insanity is getting harder
to trace. The higher things
rise, the lower I fall. Today
was the best. I connected
with Nolaawi, and now I feel
I'm level with the highest ranked.
For the first time in my life I feel
normal. Chankuoth told me that
he considers me a friend. I feel
so happy, but even so I am
sinking lower than ever. I have
to leave it all behind. My friends,
my happiness, my love, and my
new found confidence. And no
one is coming with me. I am
leaving them all behind......
The line between me and
insanity is getting harder
to trace. The higher things
rise, the lower I fall. Today
was the best. I connected
with Nolaawi, and now I feel
I'm level with the highest ranked.
For the first time in my life I feel
normal. Chankuoth told me that
he considers me a friend. I feel
so happy, but even so I am
sinking lower than ever. I have
to leave it all behind. My friends,
my happiness, my love, and my
new found confidence. And no
one is coming with me. I am
leaving them all behind......
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Pull
I would take my own life, but four things stand
in my way... One, I am much too afraid to do | |
it. Two, I wouldn't know what method to use.
Three, I would feel
way too attention seeking.
And four, my
absolute biggest
fear is that I may
not go to heaven.
in my way... One, I am much too afraid to do | |
it. Two, I wouldn't know what method to use.
Three, I would feel
way too attention seeking.
And four, my
absolute biggest
fear is that I may
not go to heaven.
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
Favoritism,
Its always the same,
favoritism. My dad always
sticks up for my sister
and is never around for
me... then
after my
my mom comes
over discreetly to
comfort me, but
that is not
what I need
at this point.
what I need
is equality .
favoritism. My dad always
sticks up for my sister
and is never around for
me... then
after my
my mom comes
over discreetly to
comfort me, but
that is not
what I need
at this point.
what I need
is equality .
Friday, 27 February 2009
Alliterate Monster,
My reading
obsession is
unbearable.
These word
-filled pages
are just about
running my life-
controlling my
very mind. I've
bought two new
books after re-
reading a series
because I had
nothing to read.
I am planning to
get the last three
books by Ellen
Hopkins- addictive
suicidal, yet quite
interestingly poetic
novels. That's where
I got the inspiration
to write in this fashion.
She's my hero in writing.
Last but certainly not least,
I am going to get four to six
books from the book order.
I need to make some more friends.
obsession is
unbearable.
These word
-filled pages
are just about
running my life-
controlling my
very mind. I've
bought two new
books after re-
reading a series
because I had
nothing to read.
I am planning to
get the last three
books by Ellen
Hopkins- addictive
suicidal, yet quite
interestingly poetic
novels. That's where
I got the inspiration
to write in this fashion.
She's my hero in writing.
Last but certainly not least,
I am going to get four to six
books from the book order.
I need to make some more friends.
Thursday, 26 February 2009
Blind Hearted,
It's hard to talk about my emotions,
Like it is for every teen at this time.
I find it awkward and pointless, much
Like my life. No one understands
How I feel. I
try to show how
I feel in about
Every single way
Humanly possible,
But they're just
Too blind to see.
They tell me
What I know.
Seems it's all
That they know.
I need them to
Tell me something
New. Maybe a
Psychologist can
Help me, maybe
I'm crazy. They
Would think I was
More then crazy
If they knew . . .
Like it is for every teen at this time.
I find it awkward and pointless, much
Like my life. No one understands
How I feel. I
try to show how
I feel in about
Every single way
Humanly possible,
But they're just
Too blind to see.
They tell me
What I know.
Seems it's all
That they know.
I need them to
Tell me something
New. Maybe a
Psychologist can
Help me, maybe
I'm crazy. They
Would think I was
More then crazy
If they knew . . .
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Dear Reader, (Age 13)
I
often find
That I show my
emotions. I
play
songs
based on how I
feel. I display them on
my face and my
eyes.
Even
so it appears that
no one is smart enough to
see the signs, bright as a
street light
on
a dark, rainy
night. My moods are
greatly influenced
by
The books I read,
What I hear,
And what I see.
With everything I do,
Even when I speak,
Still no one hears my voice.
Emo's are right,
At least their diaries understand them;
That won't cut it for me.
If I can't sort out my feelings,
I will surely fall apart as the characters in my novels do.
How I crave those books.
I need them to keep me sane.
They provide comfort and refuge,
Where I can hide away from the world that hurts me so,
And the problems that soon follow.
I unearth others in their place.
I have been told
to put the book
down.
They say we all
go through
this...
But I don't believe it should be this
hard.
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